I hadn’t been to Venice since I was a teenager but the stories I had read and heard about ‘La Serenissima’ had filled me with trep, rip off merchants of Venice on every corner, expensive, rudeness, 20 million tourists, rats, mediocre food, etcetera etcetera. So much for research on the net. It’s made me paranoid.

I have just spent 4 rainy days there and my trepidation faded away in the water taxi speeding to our hotel, hot damn I was as excited as teenager on his first date.

The Danieli is a historical 5 star hotel right on St Marks basin with stunning public rooms and its own private jetty; we stayed a few doors down (ours was the unmarked one) at the Rezidenza Musica at a fraction of the price. I can recommend the 2 top floor rooms 401/402, both named after Vasco Rossi, an Italian rocker and superstar, which were clean and simply furnished, decent bathrooms, good beds,one smallish and one with a bit of a sitting area and little kitchen and best of all, 2 rooftop balconies with a stunning view across the lagoon. Mamma Mia what a sight!

SO, IS THE FOOD POOR IN VENICE?
We ate as well as anywhere else I have dined in Italy; true that the city has over 500 restaurants and many cater for day tourists and the like, serving forgettable ‘tourist menus’ pizza and lasagna etc or faux ‘Cucina Alta’ or haute cuisine to those with more money than sense (hello that fat tasteless buffoon from the Sunday paper) but you can avoid these with a little effort and planning. ‘Ristoranti Della Buona Accoglienza’ is an association founded by a group of restaurateurs who wish to show the cuisine of Venice at its best. They promise price transparency, fresh seasonal produce of the region and a professional level of service amongst other things and the association welcome constructive criticism. Check out the website http://veneziaristoranti.it .
Is it expensive?
Hell yes.
Venice is one of the most expensive places I have visited in Italy but it is easy to understand why. I spoke to a young restaurateur on Via Garibaldi in Castello, about a mile from St Mark’s square. He told me he paid 1.2 million euros for his (medium sized) Osteria business and property 4 years ago. The government and local taxes on the purchase was 100.000 euros and he pays 8000 euros a year to put some tables outside his own place. You can see why it’s a very expensive place to try and make a living. The good news however is the most stunning things about Venice are free! Yes, totally buckshee, F.O.C and for nowt. Wandering around and getting lost is a pure delight, Venice steals your eyes and won’t give them back till you are in the airport again. You may have to get up at 4 in the morning just to look out of your hotel window again. I kept thinking ‘What must it be like when the sun is shining?’
You can drop a ton on a Gondola ride or 50 cents crossing the Grand Canal standing up on an old stripped down gondola, brief but still fun. The water buses are cheaper than the London Tube by a long chalk, water taxis are expensive – we took one from the airport to the hotel at 100 euros for 4. Many museums are free. Restaurants can be expensive but the good ones are worth searching out for a better quality-price ratio, seasonal produce and real fresh seafood from the lagoon.

Are the locals rude?
Everywhere we went we were treated courteously by friendly locals, shopkeepers, boat conductors, coppers, barmen etc. A Carabiniere (cop) caught me staring at him (I admit we were in a public lavatory) and I told him my dad was also a Carabiniere in the 50’s. We chatted about some of the rules that still apply in the force like not being able to have a girlfriend in the same Town you were garrisoned at. Salvo, my father was shipped to the mainland from Sicily for his transgression which is how he met my Mum in Salerno and left the force. Apparently you now get transferred away for a short while so the girl is in another town then you move back. Eh? Another stupid rule to be scrapped methinks.


Bad Food?
Nope, I don’t think so.

After a beer we had a light late lunch at All’achiugeta in Castello. The fried fish, warm potato and octopus salad and the sweet onion timballo with parmesan cream were all very good, as were most of the cichetti, the Venetian tapas stye snacklets at this simple little Osteria. Here we met New Yorkers Lorenzo and his wife Jamie and over our third bottle of Merlot we discovered that he also had a mum called Annunziata from Campania (we called her for a chat), a dog called Otis, always wore hats and owned restaurants for a living. Talk about similar strangers!

Dinner followed a few Campari spritzers at The Danieli, we missed the proposed Bellini at Harry’s bar as we were still half cut from lunchtime. The 5 minute walk to Alle Testiere took about a hour of wandering round in circles and watery dead ends.
This restaurant was tiny and full, every seat except on our table was taken so bookings are essential. The antipasto of boiled seafood from the lagoon was exceptional; mantis shrimp, cuttlefish, octopus and tiny red prawns accompanied by a nice bottle of prosecco.

The whole dinner was excellent, we enjoyed spaghetti alle vongole, fabulous ravioli with a bright emerald green filling, I think it was wild asparagus, with large chopped prawns, a plate of razor clams, stewed artichoke fonds, whole grilled john Dory, monkfish and sole. We finished this meal with panna cotta on poached strawberries and a rich chocolate cake. Alle Testiere is a restaurant worth visiting, about 45 euros for 3 courses, drink excluded. Tel. 041 5227220 as bookings are essential.




The hand written sign outside the Antiche Carampane (shown in the pic) reads NO PIZZA, NO LASAGNE, NO TOURIST MENU. This simple statement is not meant to deter tourists as the staff were welcoming and friendly but rather to nail their colours honestly to the mast. Seafood is the stock in trade of this delightful restaurant close to the Rialto Bridge in a neighborhood where premises were used for the ancient trade of prostitution from the 13th century. No longer I hasten to add!

Freely Translated from cfr TASSINI "Curiosità Veneziane"
From 1358 it was proscribed that the officials of the neighborhood should establish some premises near the Rialto in which to restrict the trade of prostitution. The women, however, soon scattered throughout this entire neighborhood – called “Carampane” – from Ca short for casa, or house, (in Venetian – short for palace) and Rampani – an ancient Venetian family who owned some palazzi there. Despite the presence of “that kind of woman” more serious vices were also present. So, to distract from worse and to attract "flies to the molasses" it came to be that the women were not only tolerated, but encouraged to advertise. They were told to stand in doors and windows in a “tempting state” of undress while the light from oil lamps illuminated the curious spectacle. Over time, however, severe laws were promulgated to control prostitution.

They were eventually condensed into the decree of August 13th, 1644, which included provisions such as these: It was not possible for whores to have a “residence” overlooking the Grand Canal nor were they permitted to pay more than 100 ducats in rent. They could not “join” with citizens in the leisurely public use of the Grand Canal promenades. They could not expose themselves on public boats. They could not enter churches during holy service. They could not misrepresent themselves as virgins by wearing “the simple white cloak” of a young innocent. They could not wear ornaments of gold, jewels or - real or false pearls. Finally, the prostitutes were excluded from being able to testify as witnesses in criminal proceedings; this exclusion was extended to their pimps. Also, they were not permitted to demand payment in court for services rendered.


We were given a little dish each of the most perfectly deep fried vegetables as a freebie to start, light as a feather, beautifully seasoned and not a suspicion of oil or any grease to be seen or tasted. The waiter showed us some live soft shell crabs they were serving that day but we had decided on the tagliolini with spider crab already. The Tocai accompanied a stunning plate of fresh raw fish, wild bass, john dory, salmon and langostines, served with 2 cold sauces, one very spicy indeed. A cultured American couple had seen us in Alle Testiere the day before and recommended the deep fried seafood which, like the vegetables, were cooked perfectly. Wild bass on asparagus, carrot and celery with oil and mint and thick bigoli, a kind of spaghetti served with seafood sauce were all dispatched with frenzied gusto (too much wine again) before panna cotta, coffee and complementary limoncello set us up for the afternoons dreamy walk through the streets and alleys of Venice. Superb food again, and I thought finding good food here would be challenging.

180 euros for 4 including wine. Tel 041 5240165.

My last recommendation is a restaurant that is part of a loose chain called Pane, Vino e San Daniele. They are independently owned and run with individual menus but all of them (I believe there are about 20 around Italy) serve San Daniele prosciutto and also wines from the Fruili region where the San Daniele hams come from.

It is situated on a little square in Dorsoduro, Campo San Anzolo Raffaele which we eventually found . As well as specialities from the Fruili region there are Sardinian dishes on the menu as owner and chef Luigi Secchi is Sardinian.

The quality of the salami, prosciutto, cardoons, olives and cheeses we had as antipasto were excellent, so much so that I met Luigi back home in Leeds the following week with a view to procuring some of the products for our Salumeria.

It was nice to have a meat based meal for a change, bread gnocchi with prosciutto, pasta with cheese and pepper, pork fillet with lardo di collonata and seared beef tagliata washed down greedilywith a few bottles of red wine - Refosco dal Peduncolo.

The pastry chef recommended we tried her puds so we did. Blimmin’ marvelous crème caramel made with pumpkin to give it the deepest rich yellow hue and cock on dark caramel, soft, wobbly and perfect. The fig jam tart was made with figs from her tree in the garden and the light crumbly pastry was made with olive oil and was dairy free – how did she do that. A choc and pear tart and dessert wine finished things off. Then we were offered some soft Sardinian almond biscuits and a liqueur called Mirto, also a specialty of Sardinia.

We eat too much but expect to pay 40-50 euros for 3 courses and wine.
Tel. +39 041 5237456

I was on the telly the other night talking about olives on the BBC2 programme The Great British Menu in a shameless plug I enclose the link to watch it online!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/page/item/b009z67l.shtml?src=ip_mlt

I decided on a social experiment that could have an impact on the world and humanity as we know it.

I was going to weigh myself before and after the gastro-trip to Florence with bro’ John, Giacomo (known before the trip as Ginner) and Jacko, 2 of Salvo’s young chefs. We would be spending a couple of lunchtimes and dinnertimes with all the elevenses, twelveses, brekkies, aperitivi and snacks we could fit in between.

Does fat make you fat? Can you develop a wine belly? Is a daily sweet treat good for you if it is pure and true? Does walking home from dinner constitute exercise? Does fruit count towards your 5 a day when distilled a little?
I understand that most of these scientific observations take place over many years under strict conditions but we have only 60 hours and it doesn’t take a weatherman to know which way the wind blows (thanks Bobby Zim).

The night before the flight I was straight into pre match training as I drank a bottle of Monty from Zaccagnini to accompany some highly seasoned crostini with a creamed ewes milk cheese from Sardinia and some spicy n’duje, a spreadable salami from Calabria which is mostly pig fat and red chilli, a highly recommended regional speciality.

As I stood on the scales I realised that things may not bode well for the future if this trip didn’t go the way I hoped. I felt a little like an Olympian, and then I glanced in the mirror. Ouch.

Our first meal was dinner at ‘Teatro del Sale’ which I have written about in an earlier report. Imagine an All You Can Eat Buffet in, say a mid price establishment in a big Country. Then replace the mountains of processed shite with simple staples of such intense vibrancy and flavour that you want the dishes to never end. And they don’t. This is Teatro del Sale, Florence. The chefs scored it 10/10, so did we. The entertainment after dinner was provided by a trio playing popular classical music for an hour or so. Price, including wine, water and live music – 30 euros p.p.

Before dinner we popped into Café Cibreo opposite for a glass or 2 of prosecco (all right it was 2) and nibbled on plates of olives, nuts, tiny pizzas and pane Arabo. After dinner we had a digestive Amaro in a trendy bar just around the corner where Ginner became Giacomo (don’t ask) and a leisurely walk brought us to The Joshua Tree Pub, a stones throw from our Hotel. Nice.

Café Rivoire is a bit of an institution, famed for its dark strong hot chocolate so we headed for the famous square (I forget) just around the corner from the Uffizi for a sweet start to the day. We passed one of Florences famous tripe stalls, or rather we didn’t as we had a quick panino with lampredotto, a kind of delicate tripe,which was very piquant and uber delicious. The chefs score 10/10 again but scarily, after asking the guy on the stall for the recipe, the lads decide they are going to cook it at Salvo’s.

there may be trouble ahead.
Yes Sir, it’s the 4th stomach, you know the thin one, of a 12 week old calf poached gently till tender in vegetable stock with a few tomatoes. O.k. sir, fine…..you’ll have the pate instead.

We booked lunch at L’Osteria di Giovanni on Via del Moro and just around the corner from Il Latini which is owned by the same family and run by the other brother.
Giovanni Latini runs a different kind of ship to its world famous sibling. This is a more sedate kind of place with lighter and more refined cooking, knowledgeable and helpful staff and an elegant back dining room with lovely arched ceilings and intriguing paintings splashed about.

We enjoyed bream fishcakes, sorpressata Toscana, a kind of large salami made with highly seasoned tongue, snout and other less noble but tasty parts and also some flash fried baby squid with brocolli. The swordfish carpaccio with avocado was of superb freshness and quality but overpowered a little by the strong flavoured and perfumed passion fruit used to ‘cook’ it.
For pasta we had traditional hand made picci with black cabbage and pork sausage meat ragout, superb.

A classic Florentine frittura had breaded lamb chops and lightly battered rabbit, brains and artichokes, very good as was the rabbit stew with soft meaty black olives and the milk fed piglet leg but the seared chianina beef tagliata, very lean and blue which was served on great roasted peppers, courgettes and aubergines was strangely lacking in depth of flavour.
The desserts were very enjoyable with home made ice cream , poached pears in wine and good old fashioned caramelised oranges. The 2 types of cantucci, baked in their hotel kitchen in San Gimignano were the best I had tasted and vin santo, amaro and coffee finished the meal in style.
This is a place I would visit again. We scored it 8/10

Did I mention that we stopped off on our way to lunch at the place I can never resist?

Da Nerbone is the food stall in Central Market that is in all the guides and rightly so. I have written about it before in a previous post and queuing up clutching your ticket for a spicy, garlicky boiled beef sandwich and a 1 euro glass of red while watching some of the other food tourists trying to figure out how to access the grub (pay first) while mesmerised by the muttering carving guy is always good for a laugh.

Before dinner we drank a couple of beers each in a nearby bar and watched a bit of the Everton v Fiorentina EUFA cup match on telly; when Everton scored we sloped out quietly to eat.

Enoteca Pane e Vino is a gem of a place on the other side of the River Arno, probably a leisurely half hour walk, max, from the Ponte Vecchio .
The dining room looks fabulous with lots of plants and greenery around the contemporary 2 level dining room. The large wine list features many different and interesting wines as well as 4 or 5 suggestions for every dessert. The wine waiter was knowledgeable and gave us info on all the wines we tasted (5 in all). A couple of discreet flat screens showed the chefs at work in the spotless kitchens.
We all thought the food was visually stunning and beautifully cooked by the small brigade led by a female chef.

These are some but not all of the dishes we loved.
Sardines with liquorice, blood orange and fennel. Baked artichoke inside a soft artichoke cream casing. Broad bean soup with sauté chicory and chicory cream. Pasta ‘purse’ filled with burrata cheese and dried tomatoes, chlorophyll oil. Cardoon timbale with mozzarella and Ragusano cheese mousse. Braised beef cheek, oxtail, white beans and black cabbage.

Someone really knows how to cook in there.

We all had different desserts which were very eye-catching as well as gorgeous and a glass of dessert wine each and the price, including a bottle of Fiano was 220 euro for 4 courses. What great value for money this place is. You should go as soon as possible. The chefs gave this one the full bag o nails, 10/10.

A quick nightcap at the trendy Café Noir by the river finished a delicious evening. Fiorentina knocked the Toffees out of Europe on penalties.
We had a leisurely 2 hour lunch at Osteria del Porton Rosso in Pisa before flying home. As usual the sun was shining as we boarded and 2 hours later we were leaning in to the lashing rain and howling wind in good old blighty.

Again we had a splendid meal which proves it is always worth doing a little research before travelling to any new location if you want to avoid bad meals and tourist menus. I had a couple of choices on my list but tired legs and rumbling stomachs (with just a cappucino and a sweet pastry to put us on) drove us to a place I had eaten well at before.

Warm seafood salad, exceptional lardo di Collonata, tagliolini with crab and spaghetti with shellfish was followed by light deep fried seafood with artichokes, swoonful stuffed cuttlefish, saute greens and seared tuna with misticanza,the fresh early spring leaves that Tuscans seem to love. A gelato on the hoof finished our little trip.

It does bring home the fact that the quality of the produce is sometimes the diffence between a good meal and an exceptional one. The lardo di Collonata was soft and fragrant, very different to some of the more commercial offerings around.

Back to the social experiment and I wished I hadn’t pigged out on pasta with mushrooms and black truffle paste and a piece of grana to help finish yet another bottle of vino when I got home the night before.

After 3 whole days of wanton gluttony , eating everything but avoiding processed food and keeping beer intake to 2 pints (maltose being the king of empty calories) I had lost 2 pounds. Honest.

After the last trip to Florence with senior chefs Jim and Pauly I have been chomping at the bit to get back with a couple more of the guys to check out ‘Teatro del sale’ again as I enjoyed this unique Tuscan culinary experience so much. Well here we go again in a few weeks, with me and bro’ John joined by Chris and James, two very young up and coming chefs. I predict great things for both of them in the future as they are already cooking like little demons!

Also in the pipeline are trips to Bra (whoever named this Town must have been a geezer – well done fella) the place where the Slow Food movement originated and I am looking forward to a trip to Venice in April too as I haven’t been since I was a nipper.

The first Cookery workshop in the salumeria was a great success and we are fully booked on the next one where, once more, we explore the seductive world of pasta, a world where the prince craves and eats the same dish as the pauper, an ingredient that is simple and pure with no additives, salt or sugar yet makes one of the most well loved dishes on the planet..
Pasta is a dish that can reflect the mood of the moment; it has a unique place in Italian family life and, like time, waits for no man, when it is ready even the king has to stop what he is doing at hotfoot it to the table quick, and I mean Pronto! It means family, comfort, celebration, foreplay…..even lunch!
Get the pan on!

My dee jaying days are over.
Gone are the weekends schlepping heavy boxes of records around, crap equipment in smoky venues and loudly ringing ears that keep you from your desperately needed sleep in the early hours.

Collecting records in the early Eighties on the jazz and soul scene meant keeping your ears to the ground for new discoveries and rare tracks. Before the internet, the way you found a worthy track to play was by listening to loads and loads of music, trips to places you’d heard on the grapevine that had lots of vinyl to buy. Second hand record shops in Las Vegas, antique fairs in medieval villages in Italy, flea markets in muddy English fields and jazz festivals from The Hague to Mexico City were all combed, trusty battery operated soundburger in hand, for those precious sonic nuggets.

When c.d’s were meant to be the next big thing, labels like Muse, the legendary New York jazz label, started to sell off all their vinyl stock at rock bottom prices as they changed to c.d manufacture. Every week I looked forward to my big parcel from the postman and often hummed ‘I wish it could be Christmas everyday’ when I woke up. Oh Happy days!

Dusty fingers were ingrained with grime from flicking through 1000’s of records, Samba from Holland, dodgy bossa from Poland, Japanese jazz fusion, soul from the Philippines, German jazz rock with Teutonic accents wearing C+W beards and Mexican funk along with great and groovy tracks found buried amongst dire west coast rock or English folk albums. The world was your oyster even though disappearing on the family holiday to reappear with a new suitcase filled with records 9 hours later could occasionally cause some family grief but finding a diamond amongst the garbage was always an exciting proposition and worth the grief (sorry honey).

As the internet took hold and became the modern miracle that changed the world forever the art of record collecting also changed. People could now find a record online once they had the title, I would be quietly annoyed as someone would ask what track you were playing then jot it down to source online that very night. As Marvin said …………..
‘What’s going on?’
Being a D.J became more about technical skills rather than newly discovered rare and beautiful grooves. Having impeccable taste no longer counted if you were crap on the wheels of steel.

I eventually retired.

But now I’m back! (Cue thunderous funky drum break).

It’s not a high profile gig, in fact it is in the Meanwood Working Mens Club on 29th Febuary .

Just before they demolish it.

How the mighty have fallen.

I shall be playing some vintage records and supporting a bunch of ripe rock n rollers in a band called Wild Hogs.

All proceeds are going to local charities including ‘Caring for life’ which is a farm just up the road from us in Cookridge quietly helping people in real need with accommodation, jobs, dignity and family values. It is the most amazing set up on an urban farm where it’s possible to help them by buying naturally reared meat, eggs and veg from them, I’ll put the address at the bottom of the page because any endeavor that helps others as well as yourself (natural food = longer life. You choose) is really a no brainer innit!
Anyway the door tax is a paltry fiver so if you’re in the neighborhood come and show support and have a dance.

Caring for Life at Cragg House Farm tel 01132 303 600

Wild Hogs live!
Fri 29 Febuary . 8 p.m
Meanwood Working Mens Club.